On a more general level, what are his needs? Are they being met? To use my son as an example, even now he can be overly physical with his siblings and I have to remain very present (in mind and body). I have to notice waaaay before anyone else would when things are turning sour for him and step in (not in a policeman-type- way but in a supportive let’s-find-something-gentler-type-way). If we are out socially I have to be even more present and he gets very carried away in the moment, very impulse, and can hurt another child without thinking. He still struggles to read others body language so he doesn’t always get when they are getting fed-up or they don’t like something he is doing. Because he trusts me now (and it took a LOT of work to get there) I can whisper in his ear what I think the other child is feeling and advise him to calm down or stop what he is doing and he listens. He knows I am helping him. That may or may not work with you and your son, but you could experiment with finding something else that does.

As a child who literally jumps out of bed at 5am and is on the go until he crashes at 7pm, if I allow Jack to become bored then he will become destructive. I have come to see it for what it is though, which is stimulation. He is bored so he will cut things open, draw on things, smash things to see what will happen. He is so ‘in the moment’ he cannot yet think about the consequences for the whole family, although he does almost immediately afterwards. What I have found, for him, is keeping him active, channelling his energy into positive areas, and focusing on his interests helps him to be the wonderful, happy, smiling boy that he is.

This is just my son’s story and may not fit with what your son is going through, but what could be the same is how *you* deal with it. Working out what is behind his behaviour is a good starting point and go from there. All my best wishes, Chaley.