Spoiling My Babies Since 2010

This article is contributed by guest blogger, Maranda Russell, Aprons and Ink.

Nap time is “Mom-Time” isn’t it?  At least, that’s what mainstream parenting tells us.  You rock your baby, lay him/her down (if you’re lucky you achieve that elusive goal of getting your toddler to nap too) and you’re finally “free” to clean, sleep, do whatever is expected of you because, at last, your kids are out of your hair. It’s yourtime.As an attachment parent, I even believed this. In the few, tired weeks after my second daughter was born I cried and agonized in frustration over this projected sleep-time goal.  My 2 year old, who is a busy ball of energy, would bounce and jump and giggle from her crib- while my newborn would shriek the moment her little body touched our co-sleeping bed.  I was a naptime failure.

Then I had a thought, “Why am I killing myself to follow the traditional parenting rules? Why not just listen to my children and follow their lead?”

Fast forward eight months.  My energetic toddler lays on the floor flipping through the pages of her favorite book. Sprawled in my arms and across my belly is a napping 8-month-old.  Oblivious to the occasional cheer of glee from her sister- just sweetly suckling milk and dreaming in my arms.  The house is a mess, there are dirty dishes in the sink and diapers to be washed- but these two hours are mine. Why would I even try to lay her down?  What in the world is more important than this?

Don’t be in a rush to parent the way you’re supposed to.  Take the time to listen to what your children are communicating.  Once you really hear them- what could be sweeter than attending to their needs? Maybe that mothering swear word, “spoiled” is exactly what their tender hearts require.

What is unschooling and how to make it work?

 Here is a fab article about unschooling. As an unschooling advocate and an unschooler myself, what I find disconcerting, but not at all surprising , is all the negative comments left which are very much rooted in fear. Some accused the nay-sayers of being brainwashed. What I will say is before I started unschooling it really shocked me to realise how many of, what I felt were, enlightened alternative viewpoints were every bit as ‘scripted’ as those of conventional parents. Alternative parents often parrot similar views back and forth to one another, reinforcing certain ideals that essentially are the same as conventional parenting: children need to learn our X and they won’t learn it without our intervention. Once I truly understood that learning is a basic human drive that was when unschooling took off. That said, I do not believe unschooling is better for every family. It doesn’t work if the parent isn’t adaptable to the changing needs of their children. That really is key. For example, a parent who prefers to be relaxed and spontaneous may not be able to adapt to a child who needs routines. Likewise, a parent who requires structure, cleanliness, and order and can’t let that go will not make a good unschooling parent. Parents must learn to adapt to the needs and interests of very different children for unschooling to thrive!